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What is a Contested Divorce?
Divorce can be emotionally draining, and things can quickly get out of hand if you and your ex-spouse don’t see eye to eye. While ideally, a couple should work out their issues beforehand and file for an uncontested divorce, things don’t always work out that way. Contested divorces are more common and take the bulk of family court filings.
A Charlotte family attorney defines a contested divorce as one where spouses can’t agree on matters such as child custody, support payments, and property division. Contested divorces are sometimes marked with a lot of conflict, especially if the couple has high-net-worth assets or one spouse is abusive, has a substance abuse problem, or is controlling.
Before filing for a contested divorce, explore an alternative approach known as divorce mediation. It can help you and your ex-spouse see things from the same perspective and agree on pertinent issues before finalizing the divorce in court. An experienced mediation lawyer in Charlotte explains how the process works.
What is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process that enables you and your spouse to work out the issues around your divorce before the court issues a divorce decree. A third party acts as the mediator, acting as the go-between for the negotiations, with their objective being to help you reach an agreement.
The mediator should be an expert in family matters and not take sides with either party. Typical divorce mediation requires couples to attend multiple sessions spread out over several weeks. Depending on the complexity of the issues to be mediated, a mediation attorney in Charlotte says the process can last up to six months.
Court-Ordered Mediation
In most cases, family courts require couples in a contested divorce to go through mediation before the trial dates for the contested issues. Mediation has often proved to be successful even in highly contested divorces. It may help you and your ex-spouse achieve an outcome that may otherwise not be possible through traditional divorce litigation.
How Does Divorce Mediation Work?
It’s vital to note that a divorce mediator doesn’t make decisions for you and your spouse. Instead, they facilitate the negotiations, offering a level playing field to enable you to reach a consensus. Every mediator will have their style, but generally, the process entails the following steps:
Before Mediation
It’s advisable to consult a mediation lawyer in Charlotte before starting the process. Through their expertise and legal counsel, you will gather more insights to determine what to expect and how to conduct yourself during mediation. During the initial meeting, you can provide your mediator with background information about your marriage and divorce issues.
You may have to write a “mediation statement” outlining your basic information and the issues you need to resolve with the mediator’s help. The mediator could also ask you to sign an agreement that you will keep the mediation discussions confidential and that you understand that the mediator can’t disclose what happens during your sessions in court.
During Mediation
Mediation sessions typically happen in conference rooms or comfortable office spaces. Depending on the mediator’s strategy, they could meet with you and your ex for the entire mediation session.
Alternatively, they could talk to each party individually in separate rooms. A Charlotte family attorney says you don’t have to physically meet with your ex-spouse during mediation if you know sitting down with them will be unproductive due to conflict.
As will the other party, you will get a chance to make a short statement about your situation. The mediator might ask for clarification or seek more information. They may also summarize both parties’ points to understand your issues. Next, they will figure out the issues you and your ex-spouse agree on and don’t agree on. Overall, it’s vital that you and your spouse agree to:
- Be open to compromise.
- Listen and try to understand the other party’s point of view
While you may disagree with what your ex-spouse says, listening to their concerns can give you a new perspective on resolving disagreements.
After Mediation
After agreeing on the pertinent divorce issues, the mediator will write an agreement with a parenting plan if you have minor children. The agreement will capture all the issues you resolved during mediation. If there are unresolved matters, you can discuss them later or ask the court to determine them.
Your Charlotte mediation lawyer may help you file your paperwork with the court, depending on their scope of services. If the court approves your settlement agreement, it becomes part of the final divorce decree. You can enforce the deal just as you would any other court order.
What Skills Should I Look for in a Divorce Mediator?
In addition to being knowledgeable in divorce mediation, it would help if your mediator has the following skills:
- Keeps the playing field level for both parties
- Lays out options in a concise manner for everyone to understand
- Uses a fair, transparent, and practical approach based on specific ground rules
- Is patient and compassionate
- They have a network of additional support and don’t operate in a vacuum
- Facilitates equal voices of influence
- Troubleshooting and project management
A Skilled Family Lawyer Providing Insights into Divorce Mediation
If your divorce is contested, consider divorce mediation. A neutral expert mediator can facilitate a discussion between you and your ex-spouse to enable you to reach an agreement. They can then help you file the agreement in court to make it enforceable. Mediation can be time-efficient and less costly than divorce litigation.
A skilled Charlotte mediation attorney at the Law Office of Jana K. Jones, PLLC, can empower communication with your ex-spouse through mediation. We can evaluate your case specifics and guide you effectively to protect your family’s interests and future. Call us at 704-275-0951 for a consultation.
