(704) 275-0951Family Law FAQs
FAQs About Family Law
LAW OFFICE OF JANA K. JONES, PLLC | CHARLOTTE & MINT HILL, NC
Q: My Ex and I Are Divorcing/breaking Up, and We Have Children Together – Do We Have to Go to Court to Deal with Custody and Child Support?
A: No, you don’t. Some parents choose to handle child support and custody on their own, outside of court. That’s perfectly fine. There’s no requirement that you go to court. However, I still suggest doing a consultation—even if things are going well. It’s always better to be informed. Knowledge and information learned in the consultation will keep you from playing defense should things start going south later (typically once you get into a new relationship).
Q: I provide for my kids by buying clothes, shoes, paying for extracurriculars, etc. Why should I have to pay child support?
A: Simply put, because it’s a court order. Child support is based on a formula created by N.C. Legislature. Once the court determines your gross monthly income and the types of credits you should receive, the formula calculates a child support obligation. In theory, this obligation should cover your portion of the costs associated with raising your child. While relatively straightforward it is important to schedule a consultation so that you do not end up obligated to an incorrect amount. Regardless of what you do for your children, if you don’t pay the child support obligation, you could be facing jail time.
Q: Why does it feel like the system is rigged against fathers?
A: The reason why mothers appear to be favored over fathers is because mothers are often able to articulate more intimate details of their child’s life—how they are doing in school, what activities they are involved in, who their doctor is, what types of medications they are on, etc. The judge sees this ability to detail their child’s life as a demonstration of their fitness to be the primary caregiver. It is an unfair assumption and one I work to fight against. I understand your contribution to your child and will help you demonstrate this to the judge. Give my office a call to get scheduled for your consultation today!
Q: What is the consultation and why do I need to have one with you?
A: The consultation is a conversation—similar to an interview. It’s an opportunity to learn what the law says about your case, and it gives you an opportunity to get to know me and my approach. You will leave the consultation with a clear understanding of how the law applies in your case, what it will cost to retain me, and that by retaining my services you get an attorney who is knowledgeable, compassionate and honest. I am experienced, I genuinely care about you and your family, and I will always be honest, even if that means telling you something you may not want to hear. Give us a call, I look forward to speaking with you soon!
Q: How long will the process take?
A: We will go over estimates in your consultation. There are several factors that determine how long your case will last including, but not limited to: where you are in the case, whether or not the other side is pro-se or represented by counsel, and your end goal. This is a difficult time in your life; you are trying to get to the other side after a heartbreak—romantic or otherwise. My job is to make your life easier, not harder. I have no interest in prolonging a case. My goal is to get your case concluded in your favor as soon as possible so that you can move on with your life.
Q: How much is this going to cost?
A: My fees for reviewing pleadings/providing advice, drafting pleadings that you file on your own, and full representation are all different levels of service that come with different pricing. The range is from $500.00 to $15,000.00. However, these fees are flat fees. Click the link for additional information on the Flat Fee Structure.
Q: Who will I work with?
A: You will work directly with me. I am the one you speak with during your consultation, I draft the pleadings for your case, I research the case law, I compose the trial notebook, and I represent you in court. I practice in Mecklenburg County exclusively so that I am able to serve the needs of my clients efficiently. I am familiar with the local rules for Mecklenburg County as well as the judges, clerks and family court administrative staff.
Q: What is your primary philosophy to help fathers navigate child custody and visitation disputes?
A: The most important thing to assure fathers of is that they are parents with equal rights to mom. A lot of times, there is a general assumption that mom is just going to get custody and he’s going to get some visitation schedule, and it is just what it is, and it’s not worth fighting for. And often, my dad’s come in with that assumption. And I quickly tell them that that’s not the case. Facts and circumstances have much to do with how cases play out. But generally speaking, the first thing that I want to make sure is that dads understand that they are equal parents. There’s a constitutionally protected right to be a parent. And that means parent, not mom, not dad, parent, period.
Q: What misconceptions or challenges have you encountered when advocating for fathers in family law cases?
A: In advocating for fathers I am often fighting the antiquated mindset that since the kids are young or because mom is mom, the kids should be with mom, and dad should just get some visitation. Here in Mecklenburg County, where I practice family law exclusively, the judges are very thoughtful. The judges see the parents as equals and want to hear the facts and circumstances regarding which schedule will be the most appropriate. Not all judges in every jurisdiction I have practiced in have had this mindset. I believe it is essential to highlight the things that fathers do with and for their children that may be different than mom but are just as important from a different perspective.
Q: What do you do to help ensure fair treatment of fathers in the legal system regarding things like child support?
A: North Carolina calculates child support based on the parties’ gross incomes. If you’ve got two parents that are W-2 employees, that’s pretty straightforward. You’re looking at pay stubs; you’re looking at year-to-date. If you’ve got someone who is a business owner, things can get more complicated if you get someone who works under the table, that gets more complicated. I’m an attorney, not a forensic accountant. I can’t find money. However, there are mechanisms in the legal system that allow us to get more of that type of information. When it comes to fathers who may be paying child support, the most important thing is to make sure that their income is calculated correctly and that, assuming it’s mom, mom’s income is calculated correctly as well.
Q: What advice would you give fathers facing these legal challenges regarding their parental rights?
A: The first thing to do is to get a consultation. Know your rights. Sometimes, dads need to hear that they’re entitled to time. Whatever they did or didn’t do, regardless of how the relationship ended, they’re still the parent, and that child still needs them. So, it’s essential to hear that and then get some actionable items in the consultation. I tell a lot of my dads to reclaim your time. I often see dads get bullied into a schedule, and the challenge is how long that schedule has been going on. From the court’s perspective, they’re not there to determine what’s fair to mom or dad. They are there to determine what is in the child’s best interest. If the child has become accustomed to a schedule where dad is only seeing the child every other weekend, for instance, and that’s gone on for six months or a year, you’ve got a real uphill battle to prove to a court that it’s going to be in the child’s best interest to change up that schedule. Is that fair to Dad? No. He wants more time than that. Maybe he’s been asking for more time than that, and Mom just hasn’t been willing to give it to him. Set yourself up for success by reclaiming your time. Mom is entitled to her time, so are you. Do not allow yourself to be bullied into a schedule.
Q: What else might a dad be thinking about more effectively in terms of keeping what he wants or getting more of what he wants by the time he gets a lawyer involved?
A: Document everything. Evidence is essential if we’re going down the litigation road. Your testimony is always your most important piece of evidence. You want to be credible. You want to be honest. You want to be factual. But you want exhibits that support the testimony that you’re given. And if you are being accused of never reaching out to spend time with the children, you want to show text messages and emails reaching out to mom saying, “I’d like to get the kids this weekend.” “Can I pick them up from school?”, “I’d like to take them to see this family member during the summer.” You want to have that kind of documentation. So, along with reclaiming your time, you want to document everything.
Q: How do you take couples who are tense and emotional and get them to a place where they can mediate and discuss their differences in a calm, adult manner?
A: I’m not a mediator. I’m an attorney representing one party in a case. I advocate for my client’s interests based on their goals and needs. While I can provide guidance and tools to my clients, how they choose to communicate with their spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse is up to them. Ideally, this might help reduce conflict, but my primary responsibility is to protect my client’s interests and support their objectives throughout the process.
Q: Is a divorce lawyer required for every divorce case?
A:There is no requirement to hire a divorce attorney for any aspect of divorce, whether it’s an uncontested divorce or a contested one involving issues like equitable distribution, alimony, custody, or child support. You can manage these matters on your own if you choose.
However, think of it like this: you might be able to watch a YouTube video and learn how to change your oil, but you’d probably worry about whether you did it correctly and if your car might break down. Similarly, while you can handle a divorce without an attorney, it’s not always the best choice.
People who come to me often have demanding jobs, busy careers, and family commitments. Navigating a DIY divorce, including understanding evidence rules, local regulations, and the right contacts for various issues, can be overwhelming and impractical. So, while it’s possible to handle a divorce independently, having professional guidance usually makes the process smoother and less stressful.
Q: Even if someone feels confident in their ability to handle a DIY divorce, would the time and effort required typically outweigh the benefits of seeking professional assistance?
A: It’s not a matter of intelligence; it’s about experience. Even if someone is competent in their profession, it doesn’t mean they’ll be successful at something entirely different, like handling a divorce case. There’s a reason professionals specialize in divorce law—it requires extensive knowledge and experience. DIY attempts often miss critical details because you don’t know what you don’t know, which can significantly impact your case. That’s why it’s generally wise to at least get a consultation to understand the complexities of your situation before diving in on your own.
Q: Is hiring an attorney necessary when both parties are not contesting matters?
A: You don’t always need an attorney for every case. If a case is straightforward and both parties agree on dividing assets and moving forward, it might be manageable without legal representation. However, I always recommend at least a consultation. You might need to be made aware of everything you could be forfeiting. Even if both parties are amicable, one might have significant assets, like retirement funds, that the other isn’t aware they might be entitled to. You could be unknowingly giving up thousands of dollars. Making an informed decision is crucial, and a consultation with an attorney can help you understand the full scope of your assets and liabilities. If you choose to proceed without legal counsel, you can be confident in your decision, knowing precisely what you’re giving up.
Q: What happens when one side can afford a very expensive attorney and the other side doesn’t have money for an attorney at all?
A: That can be a challenging situation. As attorneys, we recognize that sometimes clients might struggle to cover legal fees independently. In these cases, family members or friends often help with the costs. My firm is open to accepting payment from someone else on your behalf if you can’t afford the legal fees yourself. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that attorneys charge for their services. The only genuinely free legal assistance typically comes from legal aid organizations, which usually don’t handle contested divorce cases. So, if you need an attorney, you’ll generally need to arrange payment for their services.
Q: How does the court determine the child’s best interest in custody cases?
A: From the court’s perspective, their primary job is to determine the best interest of the child or children involved. The court is not focused on what’s fair to the parents but on what arrangement will provide the most stability and care for the child. The starting point is often a joint custody arrangement, but this may not be practical for various reasons, such as one parent living out of state or far away. The court will examine factors such as which parent has been more involved in the child’s day-to-day life, including attending doctor’s appointments, PTA meetings, and extracurricular activities. The goal is establishing a custody arrangement that best serves the child’s needs and provides stability.
Q: What happens in razor-thin cases where who can best provide for the child is only apparent after some time?
A: In cases where it’s not clear who can best provide for the child, a joint custody arrangement is generally considered the best option. Suppose the parents live close to each other, within the same school district, and both are actively involved in the child’s life, such as participating in extracurricular activities, attending doctor’s appointments, and contributing to school needs. In that case, the court’s default position is often joint custody.
Q: What are the logistical limits to joint custody? Is there a point where it’s too far for it to be practical?
A: Joint custody becomes impractical when the parents live so far apart that one parent can’t get the child to school on time daily. However, suppose the parents live close enough, within the same city or a short commute away. In that case, the court will likely consider joint custody a viable option, provided it doesn’t lead to school absences or tardiness.
Q: How does the situation change when one of the children is in high school and can drive?
A: When children are old enough to drive, judges often consider their preferences more seriously. While the court will listen to what the child wants, it doesn’t mean they will get precisely what they want. However, because older children have more autonomy, the court gives significant weight to their preferences when determining custody, especially since it’s hard to enforce a custody arrangement if the child is resistant.
Q: At what age does a child’s preference become a significant factor in custody decisions?
A: There isn’t a strict age limit, but typically, judges may start considering a child’s preference around the age of 12. The court assesses the child’s maturity and asks to understand their true wishes while also being cautious of any potential coaching by a parent. Generally, children around 12 or older may be consulted in chambers to express their preferences.
Q: How fluid are custody arrangements? Are there check-ins or ways to modify them over time?
A: The court does not monitor custody arrangements after the order is made. The court is only aware of an issue if someone files for a modification or someone files a motion for contempt. If life circumstances change, such as needing to adjust the time or place of custody exchanges, parties can agree on modifications in writing, which can be done through email or text. This written agreement can help protect against future disputes, but the official court order remains unchanged unless formally modified by the court.
Q: What is your major takeaway for viewers and listeners?
A: The major takeaway is to get a consultation. This initial step is the best investment you can make, as it helps you understand the legal landscape and how it applies to your situation. Even if you decide not to hire an attorney, a consultation ensures you are informed and can make the best decisions moving forward.