(704) 275-0951Episode 8
What Every Dad Should Know About Custody Battles?
A major misconception about custody battles is the belief that fathers’ rights are somehow less than mothers’. In reality, parental rights—whether you’re a mother or father—are constitutionally equal. The term “fathers’ rights” often arises because of assumptions that fathers have less legal standing, but the truth is that both parents have the same legal rights when it comes to custody decisions. The court’s focus is always on the best interests of the child, not on traditional gender roles. In North Carolina, for instance, if a father is the best primary custodian, the court has no issue granting him primary physical custody.
Effective communication is key when preparing for a custody dispute. For example, if your child experiences an injury or issue at school, it’s important to share that information with the other parent. Too often, parents may assume that everything is under control and don’t communicate essential details, which can harm the case later. Women are often more detail-oriented and tend to over-communicate, which can benefit their case in court. If you want to be seen as putting your child’s needs first, ensuring that you keep your co-parent informed will help your case. It’s also important to document all communication—text messages, emails, and other written records can serve as evidence in a hearing and strengthen your position.
In situations where you’re co-parenting and may not be on the best of terms, you may feel hesitant to share details about the child’s activities or health. However, failing to communicate can cause misunderstandings. For instance, if your child gets a bruise and you don’t tell the other parent how it happened, they might be suspicious when they notice it. Proactively communicating, even small details, can avoid unnecessary conflict. It’s better to over-share than leave things unclear.
One of the biggest mistakes fathers make during custody battles is poor communication or failing to share important updates. Additionally, many fathers tend to hide new relationships or changes in their personal life, which can cause friction. It’s important to inform your co-parent about any significant changes, such as entering a new relationship or introducing a new partner to the child. Keeping things transparent helps maintain trust and shows the court that you’re putting your child’s well-being first.
In any custody dispute, documentation is crucial. For example, if you request time with your child and your co-parent denies it, having written evidence like a text or email can substantiate your claim. When you’re involved in custody disputes, ensure that you’re keeping track of all important communications with your co-parent. Additionally, access to your child’s medical records, school reports, and other vital information is essential. Don’t rely solely on your co-parent to keep you informed—be proactive in obtaining this information yourself. This level of involvement shows the court that you’re committed to your child’s well-being.
Fathers often rely on their ex-spouse to handle things like school records and medical appointments during the marriage. However, when co-parenting, you need to take an active role in staying informed about your child’s education and health. Being proactive not only ensures that you’re up to date on your child’s life but also shows the court that you’re fully engaged in your child’s care and are taking the steps to be an informed, responsible parent.
When meeting with a custody lawyer, one of the first things you should discuss is their experience, especially in custody disputes. It’s important to know what you’re asking for in terms of custody before you consult with an attorney. Whether you want joint custody, primary custody, or another arrangement, make sure you’re clear on your goals. A skilled attorney can help guide you through the process, but you must first know what you want so they can advocate for you effectively.
Child custody evaluators are appointed by the court to assess the best interests of the child. In Mecklenburg County, for example, evaluators from the Council for Children’s Rights conduct interviews with both parents and the child, review school and medical records, and visit the homes of both parties. They then present their findings to the court. It’s crucial to be open and transparent with the evaluator. Courts rely heavily on the evaluator’s recommendations, so your cooperation is key in ensuring that your child’s needs are fully represented.
Custody battles can be emotionally draining for both parents and children. To manage your emotions and avoid negative impacts on your children, consider therapy. Talking to a therapist can help you work through your emotions and give you the support you need during this challenging time. When parents prioritize their children’s emotional well-being and put their egos aside, they are more likely to come to a resolution that works in the child’s best interests.
Once custody is decided, effective co-parenting hinges on clear communication and transparency. Keep your ex informed about any changes that may affect the child’s life, whether it’s a medical issue, school problem, or a new partner. Consistent and proactive communication fosters a more cooperative relationship and reduces the chances of conflict.
If you’re starting your co-parenting journey or preparing for a custody battle, one of the most important things to consider is the custody schedule. Determine early on whether you’re aiming for joint custody, primary custody, or another arrangement. If you want to avoid conflict, try to establish a working schedule with your co-parent before involving attorneys or the courts. Having a clear idea of what you want and acting on it can help prevent unnecessary legal battles.
Even if you’re on good terms with your co-parent, it’s still crucial to consult with an attorney early. Understanding your rights and responsibilities is important, even in an amicable co-parenting relationship. An attorney can help you understand your legal options if things take a turn. Knowledge is power, and a consultation early on can prevent issues from arising later on. You don’t have to file a custody case immediately, but being informed about your options can help you navigate the co-parenting journey with confidence.