ABOUT ME

Phylicia Rashad on The Cosby Show inspired me to become an attorney. I've always admired her, and she was like a TV mom to me. So, the law has been something I wanted to pursue since I was young.

I majored in sociology in undergrad. I have always found people interesting. I'm an introvert, but I find groups of people and stories about people fascinating. And, I love to read and ask questions. I knew I wanted to go to law school, so I decided to pick a major that was going to be fun. And sociology is definitely that. And, I think it was excellent preparation for family law.

Once I entered law school, I became interested in family law but never actually took the course. When I decided to open up my firm in 2009, I started talking to some attorneys in town. One prominent African-American family law attorney was Billie Ellerbe, and he became my mentor when I first started practicing. I fell in love with family law from there.

Money comes and goes. Relationships, hopefully, last forever, but sometimes they don't. But your children are your children. They're your blood. And if there's anything worth fighting over, it's the kids. And so that's the catalyst and the drive behind why I do what I do and why it's the most important thing to me.

Regarding my dad specifically, my parents had a rough relationship. They were married for the majority of my childhood and adulthood. However, it was not a good marriage; my dad was not a good husband. He was an incredible father to me, though. My mother, even though she was very frustrated with the husband that my father was, never tried to speak down about my dad to me or the relationship that we had. She always supported it. She knew I was a daddy's girl and didn't envy that. She understood because she had been a daddy's girl herself. It's really monumental, the impact fathers make on their children, especially their daughters. And, if I can be a part of making sure that relationship is protected, I want to be.

It is my clients and their children. I know that those relationships are so vital to my clients and so crucial to those kids. And, I believe that having both parents play significant roles in their children's lives makes for more positive and resilient adults. And that's what I want to see in the world. I want the next generation to do better than we did.

I view divorce as one of the most profound life changes, akin to experiencing a loss without the finality of death. It marks the end of a significant chapter and the beginning of a new one, which can be incredibly challenging. I take pride in guiding people through this transition and helping them rebuild their lives.

There's often a stereotype about divorce attorneys being overly contentious and fixating on minor disputes, like who gets the kitchen sink or a fork. That’s not my approach. I aim to help people move forward and start fresh, especially when children are involved. To me, the well-being of children is paramount. If we focus our efforts, it should be on ensuring their best interests are protected. Ideally, we aim to minimize conflict and prevent unnecessary trauma for the kids. That's the kind of support I strive to provide.

I'm not a mediator. I'm an attorney representing one party in a case. I advocate for my client's interests based on their goals and needs. While I can provide guidance and tools to my clients, how they choose to communicate with their spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse is up to them. Ideally, this might help reduce conflict, but my primary responsibility is to protect my client's interests and support their objectives throughout the process.

The first step is to schedule a consultation. I offer several options to suit the complexity of your case. You can choose between a 30-minute or a one-hour phone consultation, which is the most cost-effective and convenient for many clients. Alternatively, I can provide a one-hour in-person consultation at my office.

During this initial meeting, you will share your situation and goals, and I will provide detailed information about the next steps, potential strategies, and an overview of my approach. I will also discuss the pricing and what it will take to move forward.

There is no requirement to hire a divorce attorney for any aspect of divorce, whether it's an uncontested divorce or a contested one involving issues like equitable distribution, alimony, custody, or child support. You can manage these matters on your own if you choose.

However, think of it like this: you might be able to watch a YouTube video and learn how to change your oil, but you’d probably worry about whether you did it correctly and if your car might break down. Similarly, while you can handle a divorce without an attorney, it’s not always the best choice.

People who come to me often have demanding jobs, busy careers, and family commitments. Navigating a DIY divorce, including understanding evidence rules, local regulations, and the right contacts for various issues, can be overwhelming and impractical. So, while it’s possible to handle a divorce independently, having professional guidance usually makes the process smoother and less stressful.

It’s not a matter of intelligence; it’s about experience. Even if someone is competent in their profession, it doesn’t mean they’ll be successful at something entirely different, like handling a divorce case. There’s a reason professionals specialize in divorce law—it requires extensive knowledge and experience. DIY attempts often miss critical details because you don’t know what you don’t know, which can significantly impact your case. That’s why it's generally wise to at least get a consultation to understand the complexities of your situation before diving in on your own.

You don't always need an attorney for every case. If a case is straightforward and both parties agree on dividing assets and moving forward, it might be manageable without legal representation. However, I always recommend at least a consultation. You might need to be made aware of everything you could be forfeiting. Even if both parties are amicable, one might have significant assets, like retirement funds, that the other isn't aware they might be entitled to. You could be unknowingly giving up thousands of dollars. Making an informed decision is crucial, and a consultation with an attorney can help you understand the full scope of your assets and liabilities. If you choose to proceed without legal counsel, you can be confident in your decision, knowing precisely what you're giving up.

That can be a challenging situation. As attorneys, we recognize that sometimes clients might struggle to cover legal fees independently. In these cases, family members or friends often help with the costs. My firm is open to accepting payment from someone else on your behalf if you can't afford the legal fees yourself. However, it's essential to acknowledge that attorneys charge for their services. The only genuinely free legal assistance typically comes from legal aid organizations, which usually don’t handle contested divorce cases. So, if you need an attorney, you'll generally need to arrange payment for their services.

From the court's perspective, their primary job is to determine the best interest of the child or children involved. The court is not focused on what’s fair to the parents but on what arrangement will provide the most stability and care for the child. The starting point is often a joint custody arrangement, but this may not be practical for various reasons, such as one parent living out of state or far away. The court will examine factors such as which parent has been more involved in the child’s day-to-day life, including attending doctor’s appointments, PTA meetings, and extracurricular activities. The goal is establishing a custody arrangement that best serves the child's needs and provides stability.

 In cases where it's not clear who can best provide for the child, a joint custody arrangement is generally considered the best option. Suppose the parents live close to each other, within the same school district, and both are actively involved in the child's life, such as participating in extracurricular activities, attending doctor’s appointments, and contributing to school needs. In that case, the court's default position is often joint custody.

oint custody becomes impractical when the parents live so far apart that one parent can’t get the child to school on time daily. However, suppose the parents live close enough, within the same city or a short commute away. In that case, the court will likely consider joint custody a viable option, provided it doesn't lead to school absences or tardiness.

When children are old enough to drive, judges often consider their preferences more seriously. While the court will listen to what the child wants, it doesn’t mean they will get precisely what they want. However, because older children have more autonomy, the court gives significant weight to their preferences when determining custody, especially since it’s hard to enforce a custody arrangement if the child is resistant.

There isn’t a strict age limit, but typically, judges may start considering a child's preference around the age of 12. The court assesses the child's maturity and asks to understand their true wishes while also being cautious of any potential coaching by a parent. Generally, children around 12 or older may be consulted in chambers to express their preferences.

The court does not monitor custody arrangements after the order is made. The court is only aware of an issue if someone files for a modification or someone files a motion for contempt. If life circumstances change, such as needing to adjust the time or place of custody exchanges, parties can agree on modifications in writing, which can be done through email or text. This written agreement can help protect against future disputes, but the official court order remains unchanged unless formally modified by the court.

As a child of divorce and a second wife, I bring a personal perspective to my practice that gives me unique insights into family dynamics. I’ve been practicing family law since 2009, and I offer a flat fee structure, which is rare in this field. This means my clients pay upfront based on the stage or type of case, without the burden of ongoing hourly charges, allowing them to focus on their case without the added financial stress.

 The major takeaway is to get a consultation. This initial step is the best investment you can make, as it helps you understand the legal landscape and how it applies to your situation. Even if you decide not to hire an attorney, a consultation ensures you are informed and can make the best decisions moving forward.