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Feb. 13, 2024

There’s no doubt-- divorce will tire you out physically and emotionally. It zaps your energy and can be extremely painful, too. Past studies suggest that individuals take 18 months, on average, to completely recover from divorce. Recovering from separation and divorce isn’t easy, but there are tips that you can follow to help you during the healing process.

Accept the Fact that the Following Days Won’t Be Easy.

Begin your path to recovery with the last stage of grief: Acceptance. The stages of divorce can be compared to the five stages of grief which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re not letting yourself experience the first four stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression are all commonly experienced in different ways and at different times. However, accepting the fact that life has changed will help you move forward. Acceptance means that you’re committing yourself to the process of healing even when you don’t know how long the pain may last.

Memories Are for Keeps, but They Can Also Make Moving on Harder.

When you’re trying to heal from a painful divorce, getting rid of or packing up things that remind you of that person can be helpful. Sure, there are good memories, but there’s also a strong likelihood that the bad memories will surface first every time you see those items.

Decluttering is an effective step in moving forward. It may be difficult, especially if you’re an extremely sentimental person, but it’s one way of freeing yourself from any triggers of negative thoughts.

Know the Difference Between a Crying Session and a Pity Party.

As mentioned earlier, don’t force yourself to jump past the first four stages of grief just so you can land on the level of acceptance. You should let yourself grieve and cry if your emotions are becoming unbearable. As a matter of fact, crying helps relieve momentary pain and it can also make you realize a sense of well-being.

However, throwing yourself a pity party is not going to be helpful. Understand that whatever the reason behind your divorce, both parties likely share some of the blame for the separation. Try not to give excessive attention to grief as it can shift your focus away from recovering.

One Person Out Doesn’t Mean You’re Alone. Ask for Help.

One of the most important things to remember during these trying times is that you can always seek help. It’s alright if you want to be alone most days, but don’t forget that there are people who are willing to dive in and help you.

Reach out to your family, friends, and professionals. Create a support structure for yourself so that you can process the divorce in a healthy way.

Put Yourself and Your Goals First.

Now is the perfect time to find your focus. Channel the complex emotions you are feeling into improving yourself. Travel to places you’ve always wanted to visit, create new memories, and remember to take time to relax.

Forgiveness Leads to Freedom.

Forgiving is hard but important in freeing yourself from any bitterness that holds you back from facing the future.

Forgive yourself first. If you’ve done things or have disappointed yourself, take it as a lesson learned. Try to forgive your ex-partner as well--even if they’re not asking for it. At the end of the day, a forgiving heart is a heart that gets the taste of freedom in the sweetest way.

Don’t Close Your Door for Chances of a New Love.

One bad chapter doesn’t mean a story isn’t worth reading. While taking in the divorce as a life lesson, don’t make yourself a prisoner of love. If you believe that you’ve already healed, don’t hinder yourself from opportunities of love that may come knocking at your door.

Life is a continuous process of learning and growing. There will be storms and in difficult times when you can’t paddle the boat for two anymore, it’s perfectly fine to put yourself first.

Most importantly, believe in yourself that you can survive the storm alone or even welcome the sunlight again with someone new. If you want to know more about getting started with the process of filing for divorce, feel free to contact us today.