PUTTING YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD DURING DIVORCE: HOW TO KEEP YOUR PEACE AMIDST A STICKY SITUATION
July 18, 2023
A divorce is a stressful event. There are no 'winners.' But if you are going through a divorce, there are ways you can make the best of it to have your best life now and going forward. This involves preserving the things that matter most, including your well-being, the health of your children, and your relationship with them.
Embrace an Infinite Perspective
Divorce is a process that will end at some point, but your life will go on. This process is just a moment in your life. It may be difficult to see the finite nature of divorce when you are so immersed in the throes of conflict. Back and forth negotiations, child custody and child support agreements, alimony and spousal support, and division of property all can sap your energy and leave little space in your head to think about anything besides getting through your day. But there is another side to divorce. This is why I believe you need to embrace an infinite perspective. Because although your divorce will come to an end, getting a divorce doesn't mean your life is ending – although it may feel that way. It means that a new chapter of your life is beginning. And when you get to that other side, you want to be healthy and have a hopeful attitude.
Therefore, even as you are in the middle of a divorce, it is wise to prepare for your life after divorce. Take time now to focus on ensuring you will be in the best possible position when the court proceedings have passed. It is not an easy task, but with an eye towards the important things in life, you will get through this time less stressed and more optimistic about your future.
Doing the Right Thing Is Your Roadmap for Success
So, you may be thinking, 'Why do I have to be the one to do the right thing?' or 'How is taking the high road going to help me?' I'm glad you asked. Below are some reasons you should put your best foot forward during your divorce and how it can help you and your interests.
Do the Right Thing for Your Kids
Although there are no real 'winners' in divorce, children often end up being the losers in the scenario. Just because you can't get along with your child's other parent doesn't mean that your child should have to suffer the consequences of your broken relationship. You want to take steps to spare your child the pain, and often malicious nature of divorce, by assuring him or her of your love, reducing overt conflict with your partner, and finding the ability to co-parent in healthy ways. This will help your child as he or she is processing this change and facilitate keeping the bond intact that you have developed.
Do the Right Thing for Yourself
Your partner may have treated you poorly, and still may be doing things to get under your skin. You may feel justified for wanting to get revenge. But what is that going to do for you? It is like the saying about refusing to forgive. When you don't forgive someone, it is like drinking poison but hoping that the other person will die. It is toxic to you! It may not be easy, but you need to let your partner's transgressions go. When you hold on to the bad memories, you give them power over you, and you halt your ability to move forward. If this is the case for you, perhaps you should try meditation or seek out the assistance of a therapist.
Do the Right Thing for Your Case
Being truthful about your circumstances and taking measures to improve your standing with the judge, such as being a good parent or making sure you adhere to any previous court orders, can result in a more favorable outcome in your case. Although it may be tempting to lie or hide your assets in an attempt to 'win,' when discovered, the judge will consider this and most likely will not look too kindly at your decision.
When you are getting a divorce doing the right thing may not be the comfortable thing or the easiest thing, but it is the best thing. If you need help dealing with divorce or have specific questions, contact Attorney Jana K. Jones for a confidential consultation.